How To Be A Strong Self-Advocate Part 1

How do we advocate for ourselves and/or others? Our children, our community? How about you? how do you show up for yourself or are you still on the fence of wanting to raise your hand and say something but then again, you don’t want to ruffle any feathers?

In this series, there are a lot of topics to cover and I want to set you up with the proper tools, I am going to give you examples of when you should definitely advocate for yourself or someone else. I’m hoping to cover as many general scenarios as possible, in healthcare, mental health, relationships, disability, and career. My fellow women, it’s time our voices are heard but they won’t be unless we speak up.

In this first episode of the series, I discuss advocacy in healthcare for yourself and your children.

If you want to learn more about a topic and methods of how to build self-advocacy skills. I invite you to send me an email at mmcpodcast@conciergecaregr.com

I am here for you and love listening to the thoughts of the listeners of this show. If you are listening on Apple podcasts, you can also leave a comment regarding advocacy topics in the review section.

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Transcript

I was browsing my documents that I store my Google Drive, and found a law report. I wrote an undergrad back in 2014. I read the report and started thinking about advocacy. How do we advocate for ourselves, and or others, our children, our community? These are questions that I also asked my virtual community during one of our weekly journal prompts. And if you would like to receive those emails, please click the link to be part of the conversation and community. We will love to have you.

I have always been a strong willed person, and spoke my mind. which got me in trouble as a child a lot. Do you know how many classrooms I have been kicked out of in middle and high school? I can't even tell you.

I remember one time, I was kicked out of class in the seventh grade. It was history class, or geography one of the two. I had to go to the bathroom. And my teacher who shall remain nameless, said I couldn't go. Let's just say I spoke my mind a little too much advocated for my bladder needs. And when I walked out of the class and came back, there was a referral waiting for me. Hey, I needed to go and the teacher or anyone else was not going to stop me.

At 12 years old, I knew I would have to stand up for myself, and also want to stand up for others in some capacity.

How about you? How do you show up for yourself? Or are you still on the fence of wanting to raise your hand and say something? But then again, you don't want to ruffle any feathers? Or do you randomly lay down at night wishing a conversation went differently? or telling yourself Dang, I should have said this when they said that back in the sixth grade. I am not the only person who does this and I know in this series, and yes, I want to do a series because there are a lot of topics to cover.

 I want to set you up with the proper tools. I'm going to give you examples of when you should definitely advocate for yourself or someone else. I'm hoping to cover as many general scenarios as possible in healthcare, mental health relationships in the workplace. So my fellow women, it's time our voices are heard, but they won't be unless we speak up. So grab your morning cup, and let's dive in.


So the number one advocacy setting is health care. And the first person you should always advocate for is you. In healthcare we know our own bodies best and as women we are not always heard Our pain isn't real or taken as seriously as males. And there's evidence to support this. Do you know the history of the word hysteria? Well, let me tell you if you don't. Back in the day, this word hysteria became the first mental health disorder attributed to women. The word hysteria refers to our uterus. No joke, look it up. So these dudes back then thought, women's emotions in response to stress was our lack of control over our bodies and minds. Now, keep my thoughts to myself on this one. Fast forward to today, women are still often unheard. Have you ever gone into a doctor's office and express not feeling well, and instead of a full examination, you are told, maybe you're just depressed? I have.

That's where we stand up for ourselves and do our own research, provide information on our symptoms and to someone lessons. I've learned just how unfair the healthcare system can be. When I gave birth each time. I had pain symptoms. Naturally. It was my last birth, I had to wait over 10 hours for a heating pad. When I requested it several times. I didn't let this one go. I called and called, and made sure my midwife knew when she came back the next morning. I also made sure I put this in the survey that they so nicely mailed to my home.
I don't take it lightly being ignored when it comes to my health and neither should you. Also report it to the nurse manager. It's not being a Karen when reporting factual information, how you were treated and the lack of care you are receiving. The same is true for children's health.

Your children depend on you and without being old enough to sign consent. Make sure you are asking as many questions as you need. If it's not an emergency situation, it's okay to do research from reputable sources. Do not rely on everything you see on social media. Everyone on the internet is not a doctor. And Grey's Anatomy is not real my friend. The news or sites that in.com are not always reputable sources. I highly recommend using sources that end in .gov, .edu in .org check who the source of the website is who reviewed the information when it was written the purpose of information, find the scientific evidence when it comes to health matters.
Please, make sure you also check the privacy policies at the bottom of the site to the other thing that may not be so obvious here is make sure the health care provider that supports your child is actually a specialist and children so pediatrics, or physicians don't know pediatrics, also, trust your mom gut. This saved my child's life a few times when she was a baby. In one instance, in emergency room physician refused to do an X ray on my baby. And I refuse to leave the hospital until she did because I knew my child has something going on with her. So finally she was able to get the x ray and it came back with double pneumonia in that check.
Well, let's keep it family friendly had to apologize to me. Like I said about you, you also know your child best. teaching our children self advocacy skills, instills in them that they too have a voice and should speak up when they have a problem and need to find a solution. Many people make statements and how vocal My children are, that they are. But it's because I communicate with them in a way I want them to understand and also grew up with the tools to communicate effectively.
Effective communication also build confidence and not just in healthcare, but in other social settings like school, with friends in the community. Provide praise for your child when they practice the self advocacy skills that you have taught them. This will encourage them to continue using their tools. The fact that I have to say this is the heartening, but my friends who are black indigenous people of color, are going to have to advocate for themselves harder. Healthcare has byesies and medical training has been inadequate and the diagnosis of certain illnesses and patients who fall into the bipoc category.
There are studies and statistics readily available on how we are susceptible to acquiring illnesses, at different rates, and have different physiological responses to illnesses. I don't intend to cover all of this in this episode, but please do your research and seek second opinions, and maybe even a third if you don't feel listened to or treat it fairly. Same is true when it comes to black maternal health. According to my research on this, black women are three times more likely to die from pregnancy related causes than white women. There are some major factors contributing to this including social determinants of health such as access to quality health care, access to healthy foods, economic conditions, transportation to receive health care and education.

There are also systemic barriers in racism in healthcare settings, which inhibit black and minority women from being heard when they are self advocating. And that's when I recommend having a point person, as someone you trust to be an advocate for you in the event the need arises. doulas are great advocates and a trusted resource. advocating for culturally appropriate health care is important. providers may not ask if there are cultural practices that affect acceptance of medical treatment, or limited English proficiency, which includes language and literacy.
If you are a native English speaking country. I know I have listeners in other countries so I want to disclose that I know that English may not be your primary language, but my point is asking for an interpreter or translator if you need one. If you're more comfortable with the person of the same race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender as you please ask your providers and insurance company if someone is available. Many providers are listed in our directory. And we'll identify who they support and languages spoken. I plan on addressing black maternal health in a future episode when my research is concluded. I want to bring factual information to you. The other point I want to make is know your rights and protections under federal and state laws. When there is a medical condition present and you are employed.
The Family and Medical Leave Act, or FMLA was established in 1993. And it entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid job protected leave for a specified family and medical reason. The individual will still be covered under their group health insurance coverage without changes as if they weren't on leave. Employees are entitled up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave in a 12 month period for the birth of a child into care for a newborn within one year of birth. The placement with the employee of a child for adoption to care for the employee, spouse, child or parent who has a serious health condition, or 26 work weeks of leave during a 12 month period to care for covered servicemembers with the serious injury or illness. This leave does not have to be taken all at once and can be used intermittently.

When hire for a new job, please review their HR packets and become familiar with the FMLA program. There are specific requirements that need to be met to qualify for protected leave. When taking leave, you must work for an eligible employer with 50 or more employees within 75 miles of the worksite have worked for at least 12 150 hours during the 12 months. Prior to the start of the leaf have worked for the employer for 12 months, and the employer would choose how the 12 months is counted. Since the federal law considers FMLA to be an unpaid job protection, you should have a discussion with your employer of potential compensation. advocate that you will use your PTO vacation pay, applying for short term disability if eligible, and my pregnant listeners, you may qualify for short term disability. The number of weeks are also determined by the method of which you gave birth so badly or by susteren.

Ask your HR person to help you with this. Speaking of my pregnant women, there is a such thing as the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. Simply put, under this act, it is forbidden to discriminate based on pregnancy in an aspect of employment, hiring, firing, pay, job assignment, leave and health insurance.
Health insurance provided by the employer is required to cover pregnancy related conditions at the same costs. For other medical condition. You are also to be treated the same as any other temporary disabled employee while on leave. FMLA is not just for women who are having a child. There are protections for other health conditions, mental health conditions, caregiver responsibilities, etc. So please, please check into your rights and advocate for what you need are entitled to. There is so much more to being a self advocate and advocacy for our loved ones. I could go on and on regarding geriatric and long term planning, advocacy, advocacy as a caregiver etc. And I'll save that for another day.

In upcoming episodes of this series, I've heard from other women that they would like to hear more about being stronger advocates in regards to mental health advocacy for children and adults with disabilities, which is my specialty and I'm excited to talk about that, and relationships. 
If you want to learn more about a topic and methods of how to build self advocacy skills, I invite you to send me an email which I will link in the show notes. I'm here for you and I love listening to the thoughts of the listeners of the show. If you are listening on Apple podcasts, you can also leave a comment regarding advocacy topics. In the review section. We'll consider this the introduction episode of How to Become a stronger self advocate. 

I'll leave you with a quote from Dr. Maya Angelou. 
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with the catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. "

Thank you for listening, and I will see you next time for part two, how to be a stronger self advocate. I will be grateful if you could take a screenshot of you listening to this episode and tag me on social media. 

Use #mommasmorningcup 

Until next time. Thanks for tuning into this episode of Momma's morning cup I would love to hear more from you on the topics you want to hear. Head to MMC podcast link in the show notes. Let me know in the comments what you want to hear next. See you all next time.